What not to say when someone loses a baby

For those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, the holiday season can be difficult. Grieving a baby lost before birth may make it hard to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. All those images of Mother and Child! Maintaining a mask of holiday cheer can be draining.

‘Have you heard of Natural Family Planning?'

"I just don’t feel right,” the post-partum mom told me as we waited together outside the classroom to pick up our preschoolers. She’d just had her third C-section three weeks earlier and her incision wasn’t healing well. She also shared with me that she’d had an IUD placed during the C-section. “I don’t do hormones, so this was our only option,” she said. She had three children spaced closely and her body needed a break. But she was worried and uncomfortable about what the IUD might be doing to her body, in addition to her other post-partum complications. “Have you heard of natural family planning?” I asked her. “NFP is completely healthy, with no side effects. It’s highly effective, and it’s good for your relationship as well.” She was interested and asked me to bring her more information next time we met outside the preschool door. 

Real love vs. pornography

In the late 1930s, Nikolaas Tinbergen demonstrated a new concept in biology: “supernormal stimulus.” Introducing plaster eggs larger and more brightly colored than ordinary eggs into birds’ nests, he found that birds could be tricked into neglecting their real eggs in favor of the fake ones. Similarly, he used models, larger and more brightly colored than ordinary butterflies, to lure male butterflies away from real females. Animals can’t always tell the difference between a counterfeit and the real thing.

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