PUYALLUP — When Marty Torres and her husband Rick moved to Graham after living in Tacoma for 45 years, she had no idea Holy Disciples Parish in Puyallup would become so important after her husband’s death in February 2022.

“I believe the Lord directed us to this house and this church,” Torres said. “I didn’t know I was going to need Holy Disciples. There were so many blessings along the way.”

While browsing through the parish’s website after her husband’s death, Torres found a listing for A New Chapter, described as a community-building ministry for widowed people.

“This is perfect for me,” Torres remembers thinking.

In A New Chapter, Torres found people who understand her grief and share her Catholic faith — and have become her friends.

Marty Torres, right, seen with Dee Jarvis, found that A New Chapter was “perfect” for her. (Courtesy Marty Torres)

Now Torres is the group’s “people gatherer,” helping organize meetings, celebrations and events. She spreads the word about the ministry and sends its newsletter to more than 30 members. Members —some recently widowed, others long widowed — range in age from their early 60s to over 90 and come from various parishes.

“This group has given me a purpose, to be there for others ... with no judgments,” Torres said. “We’re all just trying to get by. We’re just trying to move forward.”

A New Chapter got its start about 13 years ago. It was while leading a Bible study of Job, Barbara Bowser Smith said, that she realized the parish needed a ministry to support parishioners grieving the loss of loved ones.

“I was having a hard time healing,” said Smith, who lost a son and her husband a few years apart. “I was shocked to learn so many people were in need of grief ministry.”

For those who were widowed, A New Chapter was founded to support their specific circumstances and needs in their grief journey.

“It’s being with people that you can talk to who are going through the same things you are going through,” said Smith, who still belongs to the group but is now a parishioner at All Saints Parish in Puyallup. “Not only are you sharing, but reading Scripture, which is very healing,” she said.

Barbara Bowser Smith, left, founded A New Chapter at Holy Disciples Parish in Puyallup. (Courtesy Marty Torres)

Gatherings include group discussions focused on “moving forward through our grief, sharing about our loved ones and acknowledging the Lord’s plan for us all,” Torres said.

There’s often an easy, interactive game and a lunch or dessert brought from home. The group also has monthly dinners out at a restaurant to honor birthdays.

Their conversations can focus on what to do with wedding rings, how to navigate the holidays, going to dinner alone or dating again, as well as the spiritual side, Torres said.

“Through our faith and these discussions, despite our losses, we are better able to appreciate the Lord’s many blessings and his great love,” she said. “It brings to all of us friendships, blessings, greater understanding of our role in our faith journey, our Father’s plan for us, helping others.”

Members have found they have a lot in common as they journey together, and that helping others helps them, Torres said.

“It is our belief that as Christ comforts us, we are to comfort others,” she added.

Forming a new friend group is a bonus.

“When you’re widowed, everyone else falls away, and you need a new group,” Smith said.

A New Chapter “was something the Lord wanted to happen,” she said. “And there is still a need. Our hope is that more parishes will look at grief ministry.”