Compassionate companions make sure No One Dies Alone

 When Tim Ahles’ wife Betty was bedridden the last two weeks of her life after a long illness, he didn’t want her to be left alone. So Ahles, family members and friends took turns sitting with her until she died in March 2015.

After her death, Ahles said, he began looking for ways to “serve God through serving others.” He started delivering meals for the local senior center and managed the homeless shelter at his parish, Sacred Heart in Lacey. About a year after Betty’s death, he heard about No One Dies Alone, a ministry at Providence St. Peter Hospital in Olympia and Providence Centralia Hospital.

He was drawn by the ministry’s name, “that no one dies alone, because I think that’s an important concept,” Ahles said.

Ahles is one of 66 volunteers participating in No One Dies Alone (NODA), which began at Providence St. Peter in 2009 and at Providence Centralia in 2018.

“It really sprang from compassionate hearts,” said Teresa Lynch, senior manager of spiritual care services at Providence Swedish South Puget Sound, which encompasses the two hospitals.

It was the hospital nursing staff who identified the need for a program to accompany patients as they are dying, she said. Nurses saw patients who appeared to be 12 to 24 hours from death, but their family members needed a break from keeping vigil. Or patients didn’t have a loved one available to be with them.

No One Dies Alone is available to patients and families who would like a volunteer to sit with the patient in their last hours, honoring them with dignity and compassion, Lynch explained.

“Each of those accompaniments is a sacred encounter,” Lynch said. “These companions believe they’ve been called to this ministry,” she added.

Ahles, who has been a NODA volunteer for eight years, connects the ministry to his Catholic faith.

“I have faith in our loving God, that death is the final step in our returning to him,” Ahles said. Although death is sorrowful for the loss felt by loved ones, he said, “for the person dying it is a marvelous entry into eternity with God.”

Lee Miller, left, and Tim Ahles are volunteers who keep vigil with hospital patients nearing death. (Photo: Stephen Brashear)

‘Protector of the vulnerable’

As Catholic hospitals, Providence St. Peter and Providence Centralia have Catholic social teaching infused in their mission to serve all, “especially those who are poor and vulnerable.” The No One Dies Alone program “fits perfectly” with that mission, said Chris Thomas, senior communications manager for Providence Swedish South Puget Sound.

After a hiatus because of the pandemic, the ministry resumed in fall 2022; during the 18 months through June 2024, volunteers logged 2,282 hours during 770 visits with patients, according to Merrit Reed, senior manager of volunteer services. (Patients may receive more than one visit.)

Volunteers must be comfortable being around a dying person and know how to be peaceful in a room when someone isn’t speaking, Lynch said.

“We’re not imposing any type of spirituality or belief on this person,” she said, so volunteers who want to pray do so silently. They also make sure no direct or indirect harm comes to the patient as they accompany them on their end-of-life journey.

“We’re the protector of the vulnerable,” said Lynch, who attends Mass at various churches in the region and has been “very involved” at St. Leo Parish in Tacoma.

“I have such a passion for it,” Lynch said of No One Dies Alone. It was her master’s thesis when she was studying for her chaplaincy in Ohio and she helped establish the program at three hospitals there.

‘I pray they can cross over in peace’

NODA volunteer Lee Miller, who attends Mass at St. Martin’s Abbey and Sacred Heart Church, both in Lacey, said her faith is a “profound” part of her ministry. 

She volunteers at the hospital every Tuesday. Before beginning a NODA shift, Miller stops by the hospital chapel to pray.

“It’s sort of a beginning point by saying, ‘OK, God, help me find out who needs me,’” said Miller, who has been a hospice volunteer and has brought Communion to dying patients at Providence St. Peter.

After arriving in a patient’s room, Miller sits quietly, praying silently. She serves as the eyes and ears for nurses who are unable to closely watch every patient, letting them know if the person may be anxious or in pain.

“Usually the people we sit with have been living with poor health or pain for a while,” Miller said. “I pray they can cross over in peace and without pain, to be received into God’s light.” 

When her visiting time is over, “I say goodnight and tell them I’m glad I could keep them company for a while,” Miller said.

‘Something holy is happening’

In his eight years as a NODA volunteer, Ahles said, he has spent close to 600 hours — about 150 visits — in quiet prayer vigil with people nearing the end of life.

He likes to sign up for the four-hour shifts at Providence St. Peter that end at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m., or even for the 3-7 a.m. shift, knowing they might be difficult times for other volunteers to cover, potentially leaving a patient alone.

“I can always catch up on my sleep,” Ahles said.

Prayer is a big part of his NODA visits. Ahles says the rosary on the drive to the hospital. When he enters the patient’s room — although the person is usually asleep or unconscious — “I’ll tell them my name and I’m going to sit with them through the evening,” Ahles said.

Then he silently prays the rosary, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and the 23rd Psalm, and reads from the Bible.

“My thought is the prayer’s important whether they know it’s being said or not,” Ahles said.

Serving as a NODA volunteer “is a gift given to me to be a presence for the person dying and a comfort for their loved ones,” he said.

During her time as a NODA volunteer, Miller said, she has seen suffering that can challenge her faith.

“But sometimes the room of a dying patient feels like a chapel — something holy is happening there,” Miller said. “When I’m present for a death, it feels like a privileged moment.”