God is love.
I hear this a lot. I know this is true. I know it deep in my bones. But I also know I have no idea what it means.
I have known love throughout my life — love from my parents, extended family, my sisters, teachers, friends.
My husband’s love makes me realize that those high school boyfriends and I did not love each other. We said we did, thought it was so real, but it was nothing like the tender devotion, attention, self-sacrifice and loyalty between my husband and me.
And then there is the love I have for my sons. Most of my day is spent thinking about how to provide for them, how to protect them, how to guide them to be good men who “grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52).
But the truth is, these are just little loves. It is only love insofar as it is a reflection of God’s love for us. But I know God’s love is so much more than this.
There’s that Scripture from the First Letter to the Corinthians that they always read at weddings. I didn’t have it read at ours because, honestly, it was just too convicting. Getting married was a joyfully frightening proposition as it was — I didn’t want the standard of God’s love weighing on me too. In hindsight I regret this. The passage is so powerful, it must be read often, aloud, so we can all remember the standard of love we aspire to.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
My poor reflection of this love often looks more like Mandy Moore in the 2004 film Saved!, screaming, “I am filled with Christ’s love” as she throws a Bible at her classmate.
When I hear “Love is love,” I know it is simply not true. My love looks nothing like the love of God. Love that gave up both his only Son and his own life for us. Love that suffered physically, emotionally and spiritually for us. Love that we can never be separated from. Love that banishes fear — and hate. And while we are still his enemies, while we hated him, while we still hate him, he loved us first. It is easy to love those who are like us, or those we like, but those we hate? Those who actively pull away?
Jesus said they will know us by our love. This is the love he was talking about. Not cheap imitations but the love that overflows from him to us.
Let’s not just talk about love — let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality (1 John 3).
Northwest Catholic – October/November 2021